People Love me

ALLISON: I live you
9:24:43 PM
11/23/2008

ASHLEY: I cant even imagine how cool you must be
12:14:04 PM
11/07/2008

ALEX STEIN: Youre beautiful. I just want you to know. Youre my favorite girl
4:22:24 PM
11/03/2008

JASON: That guy conor was over the other day he loves you!
12:25:27 PM
10/22/2008

RACHEL LEAF: Why cant my text messages be as funny and witty as yours?

7:29:12 PM

JEFF: Im so glad you're alive
12:22:12 PM
08/12/2008

CARRIE: I think you are the funniest person i know
2:00:30 AM
6/28/2008

My mom txts

MOM: I 6 will talk 2 shell 2morrow i cant wait 2 c u. Luv u. Mom
10:51:59 PM
11/24/2008

MOM: Huh? Can u translate ur message 4 me?
8:15:42 PM
09/12/2008

[censored] halloween

ASHLEY: Seeing as how im simply wearing my usual attire im pretty much ready to kill the next person who asks me who im dressed as
10:26:24 AM
10/31/2008

ASHLEY: And the next person who wears a mask to an 830 class deserves worse
10:27:06 AM
10/31/2008

ASHLEY: I mean hell i have already seen 7 jesus' 3 robots and a courtney love and i still want more
10:32:03 AM
10/31/2008

ASHLEY: I was thinking more long the lines of 2 french maids or 2 people in love
10:35:34 AM
10/31/2008

ASHLEY: But i decided to be oliver
5:35:07 PM
10/31/2008

ASHLEY: Words could not describe but attitude could
5:41:02
10/31/2008

ASHLEY: The toilet was weird
5:50:30 PM
10/31/2008

ASHLEY: I had the craziest hallucination on the toilet i nearly cried from laughter
9:15:23 PM
10/31/2008

ASHLEY: And by cried i mean died
9:15:50 PM
10/31/2008

day 3 in LA

10.21.2008

08:39:22 AM

One step towards making it better would be to quit calling it 'doing lunch' you hot shot power lawyer

09:44:00 AM

Not to mention one from some company offering 200,000 dollars to me no questions asked which i'd say is fairly generous of them considering our economic state

06:55:15 PM

If you ever go to la today do i have the trip for you. Could this vacation be any better i don't think so oh except that costa rica will be k

07:02:17 PM

Frankly i gotta say that i'm on board as far as thinking that seeing your life is important goes

the next day, if you can believe it

10-19-2008

02:36:15 PM

I just sat on a bench with chloe sevigney

(Thats sevigny to you alex)

02:38:19 PM

I know! It was just me and i sat next to her because i thought she looked hot and would you look at that it was her

9:39:29 PM

Sitting in a car in front of lauren conrad's from the hills house

a day in LA

 10.18.2008 

"Alex Do Not Text" 

6:42:27 AM

Didn't sleep at all last night only last night is frankly still today as far as i'm concerned

01:39:49 PM

I must write you a letter where i describe every single thing about these last 2 hours so  help me god.

01:47:21 PM

One art piece was described by the 'curator of the retail show' aka store manager as 'humorous, and in a way, hilarious'

1:55:26 PM

famous hot dog stand called pink's...there was a line around the block and  our tour bus driver is telling us little facts about it

1:56:02 PM

Bruce willis proposd to demi moore there

Dreaming of Texting

Yeah, I do it, all the time. 

One dream texts:

"Has it started yet?" the night of my 21st birthday, I receive a dream text from my employer, a father figure in my life, wondering if my 21st birthday happenings had begun. 

More to come in the near future. 

I'm sure

WAY BACK WHEN

hi

and here's 8 tastes of allison for good measure:

ALLISON: Haha. Thats funny because i just met this little boy and within 5 min of us talking he wanted to do trust tests

11:18:06 AM

09/26/2008

ALLISON: I'm getting sick and i don't like it

7:02:10 AM

09/25/2008

ALLISON: I just net someone who was in iraq who asked for my number
1:49:52 PM
09/21/2008

ALLISON: Walked by jak.s today wished you were in it
7:25:54 PM
09/19/2008

ASHLEY: Allison said probably your period and you know what? For once she is right
7:28:14 AM
09/19/2008

ASHLEY: She is wrong when she says that my new purple pants wont make it better
8:46:53 AM
09/19/2008

ALLISON: I'm wearing a pair of pants that ashley told me never to step out of the house in
9:26:08 AM
09/18/2008

ALLISON: Went to walgreens and go medicine for: athlete.s foot, yeast infection, and wart remover
3:24:23 PM
09/07/2008

8 txts about me

THERE ARE MORE BUT FRANKLY A GIRL'S GOTTA STUDY EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE

1: ASHLEY: My new hair and thats gross i dont know why you wear those strings
1:42:59 PM
09/12/2008

2: ASHLEY: With the guy? you had sex twice in one night with a guy you never met? Jeesh i am proud
10:53:21 AM
09/13/2008

3: ASHLEY: And you would love whatever it is that i snort
8:13:41 AM
09/18/2008

4: ASHLEY: Anti psychotics if you must know.. Its all i got to snort for the time being..im being a kid and thats a beautiful thing so dont crush me
8:07:15 AM
09/18/2008

5: ASHLEY: Lemme sleep

1:48:04 Am

6: ASHLEY: So you hooked up with 2 people last night? Lemme get the sun and shine it on you

11:07:28 AM

7: ASHLEY: If i got pregnant would you raise my baby with me
11:03:40 AM
10/01/2008

8: ASHLEY: Im so sorry i am missing your morning texts. I wish it was summer and we had nothing to do but watch movies that arent worth anyones time but ours
10:34:39 AM
10/01/2008

drunk texts

"Probably have 2 mention dat i'll get ur initials tattooed on me no problem. Only problem is I can't get allison's b.c Frankly i don't want a tat dat says ART."

"pretty much drunk"

you know who

nuff said

too many texts

"Like...you and i actually know how to party and for the record i solemnly swear to make out with someone this weekend and i think i have some ideas."

I don't know what else to say, I texted alex all day with no response and that's the one thing she sent me all day.  it just really sucks when you get to the point of too many texts, like they don't care anymore if you text them because there are just too many to deal with. 

i dont know where i'd be without the genious of alex's texting

Just saw this guy from reed that always bikes...he was biking but now he's fat

also just passed a woman with a trunk full of stuffed animals 

also i just farted and i startled a squirrel

well i have hip hop class today and i seriously suspect that i will have fun

remember this song: i chimed in with a haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door? much better to face these kinds of things 

it's just the voice of rationality!

please take one or two people home!

i wish you'd resend me that text about the girl talking about the abortion...

went to go see a guy perform the beyonce experience live and danced so hard i caught my finger in a fan...but it only hurts a little .

thank god that i have that...and on that note i should probably also say that i'm definitely popular!

just a single finger and it only got a little cut and banged up...but there was a tiny bit of blood

the only underwear that i have clean is miniscule thongs

had a one night stand aka put my money where my mouth was cc dont even have his phone number you'd be freaking proud

pretty much all i can think about is how i simply had sex twice 

i guess if i'm gonna die id want it to be by text...and id want my ashes scattered via text as well

um so basically i just went surfing for 5 hours...not gonna lie i was real good

john malkovich's daughter looks fly today. had to stufy while the couple across from me cuddle-studied. idiot girl on my surfing trip said cool beans 3 times.

and i just saw a goth girl trip in a hole 

maybe you should pour water over the older one's head and see if she will notice

or maybe its simply time to tell them where babies come from

JAPANESE KNOW HOW 2 ROLL

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/20/world/asia/20japan.html

CHECK THIS OUT

Some1s That Got me thru 10 days in Aug

Ashley: Hey baby I like your shoes wanna go next store to get some booze and loooose yourself (that's just the chorus of course)

9:14:12 PM 

8/11/2008

Ashley: At the grocery store I whisper in my moms ear "i think we deserve donuts"

3:01:41 PM

8/10/2008

Jeff: im gonna get 3 pets and name one sally and one jesse and one rafael.

1:02:42 PM

8/08/2008

Steph: And I just stole a bunch of needles from the hospital and earlier today i killed a spider with a glue gun. 

11:54:26 PM

8/01/2008

Need I say more?

 Because the truth is, this is all i know. 

Not mine but

My gal frind erica has the best luck with the best stuff happening to her, I don't know how she does it but here is an excerpt from her holy grail of crazy texts.
Allow me to set the scene: she is sitting on a piano bench with her sleek black samsung with teal font in hand(i used to have the same phone)(she uses Sprint)(sux4her) and shes tryin hard not to lose it as she reads off like 9 crazy texts from this creepy 30 yo man from her korean church in irving park


best text message convo evar

Guy:Hi is the internship going fine? So, that friend on Sunday is just a friend.

Erica: Uh the internship is going fine and I'm not interested in you in the least bit.

Guy:Huh? So I don't get your point, and it's nice to find out that the internship is going good. And you have a lot to learn about how the destiny of god's children comes to fruition. There is nothing in heaven and earth, or hell kept secret from me. One of me old codesnames ODIN. And I have been to both heaven and hell in the spirit! No to those that do not or not in the know= a long time ago before you and your brother were born a select group(.) me killed off and took the spiritual power of Merlintipes. You do not know or realize unto you have been played. It is imperative that i let you recall my comment or question about you being of angels. For many moons before you came into this realm i had interacted with angels both of heaven and hell.

from alex, who else?

this would be a picture message. 

in order from most favorite to most favorite:

1.You eediot I definitely do not receive audio messages absolutely freakin not

2. ill start a label so that I can sign you. Let’s call it X-preshun

3. if you get pregnant I can almost guarantee that you will swiftly get an outie belly 

4. and I just got annoyed at my mom in front of a cute any which is embarrassing and he only had one girlfriend so I had a chance to boot

5. in other news hi 

6. lord knows I sure could use a dowry  

alex is my favorite texter, she is really good at it despite the fact that she has a phone thats nearly 5 years old! It has no texting enhancements or capabilities! Kudos to you alex!