Tuesday, November 25, 2008

People Love me

ALLISON: I live you
9:24:43 PM

ASHLEY: I cant even imagine how cool you must be
12:14:04 PM

ALEX STEIN: Youre beautiful. I just want you to know. Youre my favorite girl
4:22:24 PM

JASON: That guy conor was over the other day he loves you!
12:25:27 PM

RACHEL LEAF: Why cant my text messages be as funny and witty as yours?
7:29:12 PM

JEFF: Im so glad you're alive
12:22:12 PM

CARRIE: I think you are the funniest person i know
2:00:30 AM

Monday, November 24, 2008

My mom txts

MOM: I 6 will talk 2 shell 2morrow i cant wait 2 c u. Luv u. Mom
10:51:59 PM

MOM: Huh? Can u translate ur message 4 me?
8:15:42 PM

[censored] halloween

ASHLEY: Seeing as how im simply wearing my usual attire im pretty much ready to kill the next person who asks me who im dressed as
10:26:24 AM

ASHLEY: And the next person who wears a mask to an 830 class deserves worse
10:27:06 AM

ASHLEY: I mean hell i have already seen 7 jesus' 3 robots and a courtney love and i still want more
10:32:03 AM

ASHLEY: I was thinking more long the lines of 2 french maids or 2 people in love
10:35:34 AM

ASHLEY: But i decided to be oliver
5:35:07 PM

ASHLEY: Words could not describe but attitude could

ASHLEY: The toilet was weird
5:50:30 PM

ASHLEY: I had the craziest hallucination on the toilet i nearly cried from laughter
9:15:23 PM

ASHLEY: And by cried i mean died
9:15:50 PM

Sunday, November 23, 2008

day 3 in LA


08:39:22 AM
One step towards making it better would be to quit calling it 'doing lunch' you hot shot power lawyer
09:44:00 AM
Not to mention one from some company offering 200,000 dollars to me no questions asked which i'd say is fairly generous of them considering our economic state
06:55:15 PM
If you ever go to la today do i have the trip for you. Could this vacation be any better i don't think so oh except that costa rica will be k
07:02:17 PM
Frankly i gotta say that i'm on board as far as thinking that seeing your life is important goes

the next day, if you can believe it


02:36:15 PM
I just sat on a bench with chloe sevigney
(Thats sevigny to you alex)
02:38:19 PM
I know! It was just me and i sat next to her because i thought she looked hot and would you look at that it was her
9:39:29 PM
Sitting in a car in front of lauren conrad's from the hills house

a day in LA


"Alex Do Not Text" 
6:42:27 AM
Didn't sleep at all last night only last night is frankly still today as far as i'm concerned
01:39:49 PM
I must write you a letter where i describe every single thing about these last 2 hours so  help me god.
01:47:21 PM
One art piece was described by the 'curator of the retail show' aka store manager as 'humorous, and in a way, hilarious'
1:55:26 PM
famous hot dog stand called pink's...there was a line around the block and  our tour bus driver is telling us little facts about it
1:56:02 PM
Bruce willis proposd to demi moore there

Friday, November 21, 2008

Dreaming of Texting

Yeah, I do it, all the time. 
One dream texts:

"Has it started yet?" the night of my 21st birthday, I receive a dream text from my employer, a father figure in my life, wondering if my 21st birthday happenings had begun. 

More to come in the near future. 
I'm sure

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

and here's 8 tastes of allison for good measure:

ALLISON: Haha. Thats funny because i just met this little boy and within 5 min of us talking he wanted to do trust tests
11:18:06 AM

ALLISON: I'm getting sick and i don't like it
7:02:10 AM

ALLISON: I just net someone who was in iraq who asked for my number
1:49:52 PM

ALLISON: Walked by jak.s today wished you were in it
7:25:54 PM

ASHLEY: Allison said probably your period and you know what? For once she is right
7:28:14 AM

ASHLEY: She is wrong when she says that my new purple pants wont make it better
8:46:53 AM

ALLISON: I'm wearing a pair of pants that ashley told me never to step out of the house in
9:26:08 AM

ALLISON: Went to walgreens and go medicine for: athlete.s foot, yeast infection, and wart remover
3:24:23 PM

8 txts about me


1: ASHLEY: My new hair and thats gross i dont know why you wear those strings
1:42:59 PM

2: ASHLEY: With the guy? you had sex twice in one night with a guy you never met? Jeesh i am proud
10:53:21 AM

3: ASHLEY: And you would love whatever it is that i snort
8:13:41 AM

4: ASHLEY: Anti psychotics if you must know.. Its all i got to snort for the time being..im being a kid and thats a beautiful thing so dont crush me
8:07:15 AM

5: ASHLEY: Lemme sleep
1:48:04 Am

6: ASHLEY: So you hooked up with 2 people last night? Lemme get the sun and shine it on you
11:07:28 AM

7: ASHLEY: If i got pregnant would you raise my baby with me
11:03:40 AM

8: ASHLEY: Im so sorry i am missing your morning texts. I wish it was summer and we had nothing to do but watch movies that arent worth anyones time but ours
10:34:39 AM

Monday, October 13, 2008

drunk texts

"Probably have 2 mention dat i'll get ur initials tattooed on me no problem. Only problem is I can't get allison's b.c Frankly i don't want a tat dat says ART."

"pretty much drunk"

you know who

nuff said

Thursday, September 25, 2008

too many texts

"Like...you and i actually know how to party and for the record i solemnly swear to make out with someone this weekend and i think i have some ideas."

I don't know what else to say, I texted alex all day with no response and that's the one thing she sent me all day.  it just really sucks when you get to the point of too many texts, like they don't care anymore if you text them because there are just too many to deal with. 

Monday, September 15, 2008

i dont know where i'd be without the genious of alex's texting

Just saw this guy from reed that always bikes...he was biking but now he's fat

also just passed a woman with a trunk full of stuffed animals 

also i just farted and i startled a squirrel

well i have hip hop class today and i seriously suspect that i will have fun

remember this song: i chimed in with a haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door? much better to face these kinds of things 

it's just the voice of rationality!

please take one or two people home!

i wish you'd resend me that text about the girl talking about the abortion...

went to go see a guy perform the beyonce experience live and danced so hard i caught my finger in a fan...but it only hurts a little .

thank god that i have that...and on that note i should probably also say that i'm definitely popular!

just a single finger and it only got a little cut and banged up...but there was a tiny bit of blood

the only underwear that i have clean is miniscule thongs

had a one night stand aka put my money where my mouth was cc dont even have his phone number you'd be freaking proud

pretty much all i can think about is how i simply had sex twice 

i guess if i'm gonna die id want it to be by text...and id want my ashes scattered via text as well

um so basically i just went surfing for 5 hours...not gonna lie i was real good

john malkovich's daughter looks fly today. had to stufy while the couple across from me cuddle-studied. idiot girl on my surfing trip said cool beans 3 times.

and i just saw a goth girl trip in a hole 

maybe you should pour water over the older one's head and see if she will notice

or maybe its simply time to tell them where babies come from

Monday, September 1, 2008




Friday, August 29, 2008

Some1s That Got me thru 10 days in Aug

Ashley: Hey baby I like your shoes wanna go next store to get some booze and loooose yourself (that's just the chorus of course)
9:14:12 PM 

Ashley: At the grocery store I whisper in my moms ear "i think we deserve donuts"
3:01:41 PM

Jeff: im gonna get 3 pets and name one sally and one jesse and one rafael.
1:02:42 PM

Steph: And I just stole a bunch of needles from the hospital and earlier today i killed a spider with a glue gun. 
11:54:26 PM

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Need I say more?

 Because the truth is, this is all i know. 

Not mine but

My gal frind erica has the best luck with the best stuff happening to her, I don't know how she does it but here is an excerpt from her holy grail of crazy texts.
Allow me to set the scene: she is sitting on a piano bench with her sleek black samsung with teal font in hand(i used to have the same phone)(she uses Sprint)(sux4her) and shes tryin hard not to lose it as she reads off like 9 crazy texts from this creepy 30 yo man from her korean church in irving park

best text message convo evar

Guy:Hi is the internship going fine? So, that friend on Sunday is just a friend.

Erica: Uh the internship is going fine and I'm not interested in you in the least bit.

Guy:Huh? So I don't get your point, and it's nice to find out that the internship is going good. And you have a lot to learn about how the destiny of god's children comes to fruition. There is nothing in heaven and earth, or hell kept secret from me. One of me old codesnames ODIN. And I have been to both heaven and hell in the spirit! No to those that do not or not in the know= a long time ago before you and your brother were born a select group(.) me killed off and took the spiritual power of Merlintipes. You do not know or realize unto you have been played. It is imperative that i let you recall my comment or question about you being of angels. For many moons before you came into this realm i had interacted with angels both of heaven and hell.

from alex, who else?

this would be a picture message. 

in order from most favorite to most favorite:

1.You eediot I definitely do not receive audio messages absolutely freakin not
2. ill start a label so that I can sign you. Let’s call it X-preshun
3. if you get pregnant I can almost guarantee that you will swiftly get an outie belly 
4. and I just got annoyed at my mom in front of a cute any which is embarrassing and he only had one girlfriend so I had a chance to boot
5. in other news hi 
6. lord knows I sure could use a dowry  

alex is my favorite texter, she is really good at it despite the fact that she has a phone thats nearly 5 years old! It has no texting enhancements or capabilities! Kudos to you alex!